Love can never be described using language
What if I told you that every argument, every so-called “negative” emotion or reaction gives you an opportunity to understand love - love in its true sense? I can show it to you.
You have a heated argument with a loved one. She wants to do something her way and wants you to do the same and you fight back telling her your way is better for 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 reasons. So tough words are thrown around and at some point there is great anger, frustration, even sadness depending on the outcome. In such a situation, there is no love. There is division, differences of opinions, stubbornness, etc.
My first question is, why are we so stubborn about “my way is better”? And my second question is, why do we react so powerfully when someone challenges us about something?
These are opportunities (maybe that’s not the right word) but chances to step back and have a look at what’s going on. Could you just observe it all without your own opinions, ways, or logical justifications getting in the way?
What is it you are afraid of when the other person challenges your way or what fear causes this great resistance to be open and completely listening to another person? Let’s go into fear a little bit here to try and understand perhaps, what love isn’t. Not what love is. Because love is such a beautiful words that has been obscured by language, I would much rather we question what we think love and perhaps we will see truth. Okay?
You see, we are so used to plotting love against fear. But I would like us to treat them as two separate things for the moment and not opposites. There have been numerous books written about love; priests around the world have preached about it; everyone in the world seems to give their specific meaning to it. For example, sensuality seems to be a definition of it. Sex or romance seems to be another. And so on.
If we can be open, free, without any motive, then we have a chance to actually perceive what it actually is. If we approach trying to know what love is with our experience, we our own ideas about what it is, or what other people have told us it supposedly is, then the opportunity to know what love actually is, disappears. But if you investigate it with an open heart, free, without the mind bringing in it’s past learnings about it, then there is a chance to know!
If only we can all try and do this, not because I am asking you to do it, not because it’s my way of doing it and therefore I am trying to prove something, not because you come to me with some notion that you want to follow me. I have nothing of such to offer. All that can be learned is from you, opening your heart and seeing what is and I don’t believe any single word could possibly define what it is, really.
I think if we can do this, we will solve all of humanity’s problems. But in this third dimensional world, it has been extraordinarily difficult to talk about it. Most people have learned to love their country, their gods, their leaders, their CEOs, their gurus, their statues and images… If we could see this and dismiss it for a moment, you will also see what injustices have been done to that word. You will see how humans are manipulated - if you love me you will do this; or if you love others you will do this. We have seen a lot of this conditioned behavior and psychological damage to humanity in recent years, especially. But if we can see this, be aware of this, we can start to understand what love is NOT.
How can something so limitless, so profound, so indescribable be correlated with any condition? If you pull the trigger and kill another human being because your country loves you and you love your country and you do this is the name of freedom,.. I’m asking now how many times did you just hear me say the word if? If this, then this… Can love have any conditions at all? I will love you if you massage me every day, or cook for me every day. I will love you if you have lots of money. Or, I love you because you have a steady job and income and therefore, security. Is that what love is?
So is love pleasure? Find out! For most of us it seems like it is: sex, sensory pleasure seems to be called love and this is the picture we paint for ourselves in our lives that this kind of love is SO important in this world and therefore, it is so important to us. And we “think” this is love. So, we have defined love on the same level as pleasure. Is it so?
Is it “wanting something”? Is love remembering a pleasurable experience? And because of that, we want to re-experience that pleasure. We’ve created a feel-good moment called love and we want that feel-good moment again - we want to experience it again. Maybe find an even greater experience. So, we chase the image of what we created called love. Is it love?
So, being attached to another person, meaning dependence, or attached to the love of a country, or an idea - is that love? If attachment is love and you accept it as such, then have a look also at what does that mean? What comes with accepting that love is an attachment to an image? What are the implications of such a belief? Would it then mean that you become dependent on the pleasure of it? You have someone you are highly dependent on. They are wonderful in bed. They cook amazingly well. But if you catch them with another person, or if they decide to leave you, then begins suffering, right? And with that dependency, comes anxiety, and the want to possess to have exclusively that person all for you which is basically what the idea of marriage is proposing. Marriage, like so many ideas created by humanity, seeks to control - to promote this exclusivity. So, attachment to that kind of love comes with many other experiences doesn’t it? And from this attachment, or any attachment for that reason, fear exists. There is jealousy, loss, anxiety, anger, hate, fear of loss/death.
What if we looked at love not being pleasure? What is then? If it’s not jealousy, remembrance, pleasure, wanting something, anxiety, attachment, security… etc. Many of you will start to look at love being the opposite of all of this. What is the opposite of jealousy, or pleasure, or anger, or anxiety… Is it the opposite?
So if you see all of this, the result of attachment and wanting, remembrances of pleasurable experiences, she loves me, he loves me not, going after all of that and the jealously, anxiety etc. that comes with it, is the opposite of love then hate?
And is love a part-time activity? Something you choose to do with some people and not others? Or something you do during brief moments of the day?
So, what if love doesn’t have any opposite?
Please look into yourself - don’t just listen to me here. I’m not worth listening to. Listening to yourself is much more important and trying to go into it by yourself you will find it much more valuable. It is your daily life. We spend oh but a moment together, but you spend your entire life with yourself. As you go into this you will feel something extraordinary. I can right now! Keep listening to it.
You see we keep going to others to help us understand love - we make up rules and we because of the way society has divided us, need to always work so hard out there to raise awareness for people who are just wanting to be loved… wanting to be accepted for who they are without being criticized, hurt, or even killed. Can you see the greater purpose in understanding love internally? Listening inside? Changing inside?
Can you see the structure of it all? Love has no opposite. Look at what love isn’t - not pushing things away or trying to control them by looking at the opposite but trying to see all of the implications of what you thought “love” meant, you will make sense of it all… and there in-turn, lies the very beauty of love. emanating from intelligence. Where intelligence exists, there is no division, no separation, no expectations, no possessiveness and therefore there is total freedom from everything you know.
So, if we understand this and are this, then why does fear do such a great job in hiding it all from us?
Love and light,
GC