Reward and punishment - two sides of the same coin

Seems to me from the moment we are born, we are born into a world of control. And, if we are able to realize it later in life, we realize that we have lived a life in constant conflict, constant battle. I’m not at all surprised that mental health issues have escalated; racism and violence has escalated; we still have wars despite humankind’s endless efforts to prevent them; we have authoritarian societies telling people what to do and when; we have religions with their never-ending set of rules to mould you into a “good” human-being based on an idea or structure; we have workplaces that are competitive and brutal - taking people away from their real potential; we constantly find ourselves on a journey, identifying with a country, a community, a group; we are anxious about disease, having cavities, getting pimples, wrinkles, getting old, having a job, succeeding in life, and having enough money despite the constant rising prices of basic needs. And rightly so - after all, it is the consciousness of humankind which belongs to you, me, and everyone. It’s not my own conscious or your conscious. The world is what you see because you are that.

Now, in this constant struggle, we come across the thing called praise. We learn very early in life what reward an punishments are but it wasn’t really until I reached the workplace that I saw the terrible effects of praise. Praise as in I tell you you did a great job. I don’t tell the others but I tell you. The others find out and they become envious. That person is liked and I am not so I don’t like them. Or, you stand at a company event having poured your heart and soul out for the entire year, and the person you saw who put in half of the effort wins a trip to Hawaii. In that, the person is singled-out and rewarded with the trip in front of everyone, as well as a nice handshake with the company president. How does that make everyone else feel whom have also worked hard during the year and don’t get any recognition? Tough luck - try again next year. Dear oh dear. So praise is breeding ground for separation. It helps strengthen the ego because the ego takes it as a form of self-strength. I am praised and recognized for my efforts and that makes me (or the me) feel very good! So I will do more! Hence, you have the movement of pleasure.

It also breeds violence. Violence in that now the other employees, who are might win an award in the future because they as seen with some potential, will need motivating to try and achieve an award next year. That makes them very competitive and competition breeds violence. Or, an employee feels that the reward has gone to the “yes” person. You know, the one that seems to say yes to everything the boss says no matter how ludicrous it is. That breeds jealousy, doesn’t it? I’m not sure you are aware of the dangers of this because behaviors that are praised set the norm for other people to subconsciously take that in. They will replicate and practice what you do so that they can achieve their own ambitious goals of success. In a workplace, they set the standard behaviors for what leadership in the company looks like and doesn’t look like. At home, they accept what behaviors siblings do in order to get into their parent’s “good books”. This form of behavior-shaping, no matter rewards or punishment is the highest form of corruption.

Now what of punishment? I once decided to try the practice of Zen meditation where one gets slapped on the back in order to learn a discipline. If I don’t sit straight, I ask the monk who walks around with a stick, to hit me on the back so that I can improve. Somehow they call this discipline and not violence. I can’t sit for long periods of time, so humbly, hit me. And we call that discipline and growth. To the writer, it is none other than insanity - another form of corruption.

The employee at work doesn’t meet the expectations that were set out for them, and as a result, they get less money, or lose their title, or even lose their job as punishment. I saw a movie once of how very young children were lined-up in front of the class with their test score written on their forehead and put in order of highest grade to lowest. And the child at the end of the line is pointed out, teased, and ridiculed. Does this then teach the child with the lowest score to do more or get a higher grade so that they don’t end up at the end of that line? Is that the form of discipline we instill in each other as a means to growth? What you have taught the employee, and what you have taught that child is to be afraid. So you have instilled the movement of fear. Therefore, it can be said that both fear and pleasure are forms of control. Both convince you on “how to be”. As for for getting hit with a stick by a monk, this sounds a lot like a form of conformity. Conformity is NOT discipline. It’s another form of corruption. Discipline implies a disciple. The word disciple comes from the Latin word discere which means to learn. But learning for conformity is not the same as learning and life. What does one obtain by learning a system? Discipline is related to learning how to observe the mind so that the mind can see with clarity and freedom. Not to learn how to sit straight, or breathe, or control the mind. Only in the state of freedom can a mind know love and compassion.

So how we treat others and ourselves, is really based on pleasure and fear (reward and punishment) for which both constantly pull at each other. This is occurring in ourselves and our actions and also between each other. We are also constantly trying to achieve something, or struggle with something. It is quite destructive. Therefore, do we even have a relationship with each other whilst we “communicate” in this way, when we have this constant movement back and forth for our entire life? The whole world behaves and lives this way. You may deny it but this very struggle is destroying our relationships with each other, ourselves, and the world, causing numerous problems for the earth and humanity.

When you become aware of this constant struggle, you will see that it is in your consciousness. When you become aware of the movement of fear and pleasure, you will see that that this constant struggle is present as the experiencer and the experience. There is a separate entity that creates this division and you will see that this division is nothing but an illusion. You will see it when there is no interference from the psychological past. Which means that as long as there is interference from the past, and that you continue to live in the illusion of a separate experiencer and experience, in other words in conflict, then there cannot be freedom, and therefore there cannot be love.

When you can see the damage of reward and punishment, of fear and pleasure, not merely as an intellectual exercise, but in actuality because you have passionately questioned this in yourself, then all of the things you claimed to be love, is not love at all.

Love and light,

-Gab Ciminelli